“You don’t have to have an alcohol problem for alcohol to be causing problems.”

As a coach, I am not qualified to dispense medical diagnoses or conduct counselling or psychological therapy sessions. But formal certification in these fields is not required when helping people explore their relationship with alcohol. This is where Grey Area Drinking becomes a useful term around which to discuss problem alcohol use. It is a lay term rather than a formal diagnosis and describes a point along the addiction spectrum that receives far too little attention. Avoiding medical terminology also highlights the agency we possess for planning our own recovery journey rather than relying on the recommendations of a clinician.

What is Grey Area Drinking?

An impediment to examining our own alcohol use lies in the following assumed distinction:

Normal drinker ←→ Alcoholic

Many of us were raised in cultures where alcohol consumption is expected in social situations. We see our friends, colleagues and family members partaking and at times over consuming but see this as normal behaviour. An alcoholic, we tell ourselves, is someone who suffers grave consequences because of their drinking and as we do not fall into that category we see ourselves as normal drinkers. Grey area drinking inhabits the overlapping space between the normal drinker and the Alcoholic. An understanding of where we stand on the alcohol use continuum can be gained by expanding this view from two categories to five:

Low-risk use → habitual use → grey-area drinking → harmful use → alcoholism

Looking to our past, we may be able to track our progression through two or more of these stages. We might feel comfortable with where we stand on the scale, but asking ourselves some pointed questions can help reveal some uncomfortable truths we may be avoiding:

• Am I drinking more often than I intended?
• Has alcohol become my automatic way of transitioning out of the workday?
• Do I routinely use it to change how I feel—stress, anxiety, boredom, loneliness?
• Do I regularly think, “I should probably cut back”?
• Have I made rules for myself about drinking and then repeatedly changed them?
• Is drinking affecting sleep, mood, energy, relationships, work, or health?
• Would giving it up for a month feel surprisingly difficult?

Problematic Alcohol Use

Answering yes to any of these questions is evidence of problematic alcohol use, yet an affirmative answer to every question may still fall well short of ‘rock bottom,’ the point traditionally associated with change. This forms a reasonable definition of what grey area drinking actually is—problematic use without grave consequences. In addition to these questions an exploration of a few roles alcohol can play in our lives helps bring clarity to the discussion.

Alcohol Use and Emotional Regulation

Many of us were raised in cultures where the use of alcohol as an emotional regulator was acceptable, perhaps even expected. British TV shows, especially those produced in the 1980’s or earlier, frequently depict situations where someone in distress is encouraged to drink a shot of distilled liquor to calm them down. This is usually seen as more than the mere ingestion of a substance with calming effects but as a culturally sanctioned solution to their acute suffering. Repeated exposure to such images helps normalize problematic alcohol use.

Alcohol Use and Celebration

Celebratory situations activate a primary feature of the brain's incentive and reward pathway to deliver a powerful message—this feels good and I want more. Alcohol satisfies the drive to obtain a greater reward at these times, making things even more fun. It might also provide the reward we give ourselves after enduring something challenging or onerous. Alcohol provides its reward in a timelier manner than a pay cheque ever could, making it the perfect companion at the end of a hard workday. We worked hard and we deserve a reward now. The regularity of this cycle provides the perfect environment for habit formation, a process that is strengthened and accelerated by the endorphins released when we drink. These are our own internal opioids which bring a natural sense of relief and wellbeing, although in this case these are secondary effects of alcohol consumption.

Alcohol Use and Social Connection

Often the social lubricant, alcohol can free us from negative self-perceptions and social anxiety allowing what we perceive as our true personality to emerge in social situations. By disinhibiting our brain’s seat of executive function (the prefrontal cortex) and calming our flight or fight system, it releases us from the grip adrenaline and cortisol impose on us and raises GABA activity (our body’s natural sedative). There are, however, stories where the loss of executive function becomes a problem rather than a solution, an effect often witnessed at office parties.

Alcohol Use and Stress

Using alcohol to drown our sorrows is another effect often referenced in media and literature. Alcohol simultaneously strengthens inhibitory signaling and suppresses excitatory signaling, temporarily quieting both emotional and cognitive activity. This neurochemical dampening can be experienced subjectively as escape. At the same time, alcohol inhibits the motor neurons that extend from the spinal cord which reduces neuronal excitability. This allows tense muscles to release, an effect that reinforces central nervous system sedation through the bodily sensations of calm and relief.

Motivational Interviewing

I do not raise these issues as solutions to our problems, but to encourage self-examination on the part of the reader. Can you see yourself engaging in these behaviours for the reasons noted? Using motivational interviewing terminology (MI is the primary tool of the addiction recovery coach) the paragraphs above use sustain language—language that favours the status quo in terms of a particular behaviour.

The role of the MI practitioner is to encourage change language, communication that emphasises the recoveree’s own reasons, desires, confidence, intentions, or commitment to doing something differently. In the context of Grey Area drinking, this can start with a simple statement:

Nothing terrible has happened. I just don’t particularly like my relationship with alcohol anymore.

This realization is a powerful introduction to the grey area recovery space. Moving on from this realization, we can be judgemental of ourselves for past behaviours or present desires and weaknesses. This promotes an internal adversarial relationship. If part of us is judging or attempting to coerce another part to change, that part—which has its own consciousness and sense of self-preservation—is likely to resist. You could think of this as the devil on one shoulder arguing with the angel on the other shoulder.

A more effective approach is that of compassionate curiosity. We could foster this kind of curiosity by asking ourselves questions like:

What happened? → What am I feeling? → What do I want the drink to do for me? → What did it actually do? → How did I feel afterwards?

In answering these questions, the part of us that is engaging in sustain talk is no longer a defendant in the mind’s court of law, but rather an equal participant in the discussion as it engages in the dispassionate observation of facts. If this kind of dialogue reveals a desire for change, it opens the door for developing change language. The acronym DARN-CAT helps illustrate the different aspects of change language. The statements in quotes are examples of how that language category might be expressed:

• Desire: “I’d like to cut back.”
• Ability: “I think I could stop if I decided to.”
• Reasons: “I’d probably sleep better.”
• Need: “Something has to change.”
• Commitment: “I’m going to stop drinking during the week.”
• Activation: “I’m ready to do something about this.”
• Taking steps: “I didn’t drink at all yesterday.”

The first four categories (DARN) are often described as preparatory change talk: the person is building a case for change. CAT represents mobilizing change talk: their language is moving closer to action. Although this list of categories might look intimidating, an addiction recovery coach can help a recoveree navigate it with ease and help build and implement an effective multi-step plan for change. An exploration of change language is equally effective wherever you are on the alcohol use continuum. If you have a desire for change and would like assistance in putting your desire into action, feel free to reach out for a free consultation.